About three years ago, on a cold and rainy November afternoon, I was filling out my application to the Juilliard School's Drama Division. Just before sealing the envelope, I remember going over a mental checklist of requirements: $100 processing fee; preferred dates and times of audition; personal essay answering the seemingly ever-changing question, "why do you want to be an actor?"; head shot and résumé; monologues: one contemporary, one classical; and finally, a song. Here's where I started tapping my pencil. A song. I have to sing a song. A real song, in front of people. Needless to say, I didn't fancy myself a "singer" then -- more like a "screamer." I'd played in punk-rock bands all through high school and for a time in college. I'd never had much exposure to musicals and I always viewed musical-theater people with a combination of fascination and confusion; they just always seemed so happy all the time. I was so out of the loop, if you had asked me who wrote "I Remember You," I would have answered Skid Row, not Johnny Mercer. Since I didn't know any standards, I chose a song I could identify with, one that meant something to me. If they're going to think I can't hold a note, I figured, at least they could say I was connected to the material. I sang the Beatles' "Let It Be."

I was accepted -- and in our second year of training, the actors started singing class with Deb Lapidus. I was relieved to find out that she didn't expect us all to be naturally amazing singers (although I think most of my classmates are). She wanted us to think of singing as an extension of the craft of acting, not as something you are either good at or bad at. It turned out my instinct two years before -- finding a personal connection to the song -- had been right.

"Singing is a very exposed and heightened experience; there's nowhere to hide. That can be very scary for people -- but also exciting and liberating."

"Singing is a very exposed and very heightened experience; you're expressing your voice in a deep and open way. There's nowhere to run, nowhere to hide. That can be extremely scary for people -- but it can also be very exciting and liberating," says Lapidus, who has been teaching at Juilliard since 1988. "The challenge is that you have to exist on a larger canvas than one is used to. And you have to fill it. You have to find the balance of being large and personal at the same time. It's hard."

Believe me, it is. But Deb's positive attitude and genuine interest in everyone's growth makes the process rewarding, as well. It's never just "sing more beautifully" or "be more connected emotionally." It's really about taking a hard look at rhythm, tempo, phrasing; using vowels and consonants to express both thought and emotion. Deb gives us tools to use in order to express more fully our humanity through song. But -- as with all artistic endeavors -- it can take a long time to be profoundly simple.

An actor-singer herself, Lapidus knows all about the barriers performing artists must overcome while trying to improve their craft. She also spent 14 years organizing the cabaret performances at the Williamstown Theater Festival, working with some of the country's most talented actors -- some who never sang a note in their lives. Their trust in Deb speaks volumes about her skill as a teacher.

The thing that I love most about Deb is her ability to "tell it like it is." She's not afraid of the truth -- and this is invaluable to an actor. Her class is a like a long road trip: you start out with a vague idea of where you'd like to end up, and, along the way, you discover places you never imagined were part of your world. I'm still in awe of Deb's ability to keep up with where each actor is in their process, their journey. Personally, what I'm finding now is that, while my acting was filling my singing before, now my voice -- more expressive because of all the singing I've been doing -- is actually coming around to help my acting.

"In singing, actors know they have to hit the notes with a certain size and freedom and are given permission by the composer to do that. So, hopefully, that will encourage them to be that bold and open in texts where the 'notes' might not be so obvious -- spoken texts, for instance," she says.

Which brings us to the question: Why aren't musicals performed by Drama Division students, giving us an opportunity to merge both spoken text, character, song, and theatrical story? "Juilliard has a focus on the classics -- and, by the classics, I don't mean Oklahoma!," Deb explains. "It would be hard to find the right musical for an entire class. Plus, they're much more expensive to produce than plays. So, as much as I think it's an important part of the training, other factors are against it."

A Music Evening of Cabaret West Bank Café, 407 W. 42nd St. Thursday-Saturday, March 27-29 For time and ticket information, please see the calendar.

As of now, no musicals are planned -- but all the hardships, discoveries, joys, and tears that Group 33 has experienced over the past two years in singing class will culminate in the annual third-year cabaret, to be held at the West Bank Café this month, in which the class will share with the public a wide variety of stories through song.

Lapidus selects and tailors the material to each year's class with great care, a task she enjoys enormously. "It's an outgrowth of classwork and I want to let people shine," she explains. "I try to look at who's in the class and what their strengths are. Then, sometimes, I'll have a song that I just really want to use. The impetus sometimes comes from the song and sometimes from the actor." She also looks for songs that will make for a good mix. "Some things are born in class, with a song that somebody brings in -- which is always great, because it's usually something I didn't know before."

Accompanied by the amazing John O'Neill on piano -- who also contributes ideas for vocal selections -- this year's cabaret is sure to be just as fantastic as years past, with something for everyone, from contemporary surprises to musical classics, solos to ensemble numbers. I can almost guarantee that you'll come away from this performance humming a tune you never knew before... and maybe you'll be inspired to sing it out loud.

Kevin Kell O'Donnell is a third-year drama student.