Inside the Mind of a Van Cliburn Contestant (concluded)
by VASSILY PRIMAKOV

Vassily Primakov, a fourth-year piano student of Jerome Lowenthal, was a semifinalist in the 11th Van Cliburn Competition held last spring in Fort Worth, Tex. We continue his diary excerpts here.

June 1:

Read the reviews this morning. Dallas loves me, Dealer sort of dislikes me—thinks that my Debussy “lacked intensity.” I wonder where could he possibly find the intensity in Suite Bergamasque… whatever.

The Takacs Quartet joins Primakov for the chamber music portion of the semifinals.

June 2:

3 p.m.: Chamber music performance today. Woke up thinking that since I arrived here, I saw my competitors only twice—draw party and picture time. Is it tragic or should I be happy? Because each of us has a family (our hosts), we can’t really communicate well with each other. When you don’t communicate with each other and do not listen to each other, it helps you forget that you are one of them. You just concentrate on your own things and try not to lose your energy.

Another question that people here ask me all the time: do I like competitions? I don’t. I have many reasons for disliking them, but will omit them. Even though Van Cliburn himself said that this is not a competition—this is a festival—he didn’t change my point of view. Yes, competitions are important nowadays and it is important to participate in them. It is also dangerous if you start going from one competition to another; you become a machine gun, a person with one steady program that you’ve been sterilizing all of your life and lose the sense of music, the freshness, practically your soul. Enough! I’m being too philosophical—got to get ready.

10 p.m.: The performance was good, messed up in the last movement! Thought the ensemble was excellent, little bit shaky at the beginning.

		Listen to Vassily Primikaov's semifinal round recital, recorded on May 31, 2001 at the 11th Van Cliburn International Piano Competition. (Courtesy Webcasting.com) Real Player required.

Tired. Really tired. Going to bed. Tomorrow is a big day.

June 3:

The day of the announcement of the six finalists. Don’t want to predict anything. My hosts are really nervous. But I feel strangely calm and relaxed. The important part is accomplished—I love my audience and the audience loved me. Yesterday I met so many people who told me that they are certain that I’m in the finals—maybe that’s why I’m calm. I don’t think about the jury’s decision, it is pointless. And the thought that the voting is done through the computer is a bit irritating.

I have done my best, now will return to writing after all is done.

June 4:

5 a.m.: Already called everyone to say that… I did not make the final six. The result was announced at 12:30 a.m. Hard to say anything right now, except that I am overwhelmed by the decision… My hosts are of course very disappointed. When I called my mom to tell her the news, she said that she is actually glad! She heard the entire competition over the Internet… she didn’t say much except that she is glad that I’m not one of them. For now, I don’t understand her reaction, maybe I will in the future.

June 5-9:

Decided to combine these days and let you know that I spent them quite nicely. I got over the shock fast and decided to enjoy the rest of my stay in Texas. After all, I deserve a little rest after a long year at school. First of all, I worked on my suntan, finally used the swimming pool and spent all the time with Don, Debbie and their kids. They are great people and I feel that my trip to Texas wasn’t useless at all—I found such wonderful people in my hosts.

I haven’t wasted my time here—in fact, one of the reporters asked me a question today (June 9): “What will I remember out of all this?” I didn’t hesitate to answer: “My hosts and the performing” (I feel that it was an important step for me to take part in this).

Tomorrow I will attend the award ceremony—out of curiosity, although I did not listen to any of them in the finals—I will see them tomorrow getting their places.

June 10:

11:45 p.m.: It’s over and I’m so so so happy! Already packed and ready to go back to New York—I missed it. Then, on the 20th I’ll go to Moscow for almost two months of vacation with my family…

Things happen, it is not the last opportunity that I had, but I will always remember this competition fondly, especially my being with Debbie and Don. We’ve decided that I am visiting them again at the end of August, and then again, again, and again.

June 11:

I am on the plane, heading back to New York. Funny, it almost feels like it never happened. I’m thinking about the new repertoire, seeing my teacher Jerome Lowenthal and discussing it with him.

There is a banal phrase that Freddie Mercury used in a song: “The Show Must Go On.”