Inside the Mind of a Van Cliburn Contestant
by VASSILY PRIMAKOV

Vassily Primakov, a fourth-year piano student of Jerome Lowenthal, was a semifinalist in the 11th Van Cliburn Competition held last spring in Fort Worth, Tex. (He returns to Texas this month to perform a Mozart Concerto with the Texas Chamber Orchestra in Dallas and Fort Worth.) Before he left for the competition, The Juilliard Journal asked him to keep a diary, where he would record not only day-to-day events, but also his thoughts and feelings about being in the competition. Here are excerpts from that diary.

May 20:

The day when it all starts—practicing eight hours a day, performing, waiting, anticipating. In other words, anything that comes with a package called “Competition.”

LaGuardia Airport, 1 p.m.: I run into one of the contestants—Oxana Mikhailoff, a pianist from the Manhattan School of Music… not much to say to each other except “good luck.”

Primakov (second from left) and his fellow competitors begin their Van Cliburn experience with a press conference on May 23. (All photos by Rodger Mallison for the Van Cliburn Foundation)

On the plane: Thinking about a lot of things—Why am I doing this? What is going to happen? Who are the people that I’m going to stay with? The requirement of the competition is that all of the 30 contestants stay with host families that have been chosen for us. Is it going to be a pleasant stay or a miserable one? For a moment, when a plane was landing, I felt like I wanted to vanish without a trace, to vaporize. But in a few moments I am fine—the life of an artist will begin!

Landing: The Dallas airport is filled with cameras, photographers, etc. like a snake pit. They are going to be our companions for the next three weeks. They will follow us everywhere, shoot our daily routine and then make a documentary out of it, so people can see how extraordinary and weird we are… or maybe not.

Finally, I see my hosts with a sign reading “Vassily Primakov.” Oh, that’s me, that’s my name! Suddenly, it feels great—I’m here, I have arrived and I don’t care what’s going to happen, for I know who I am and what I’m worth. Also, all these other people at the airport looking at you because they know that you are someone special—all those cameras at you and all the attention… confession time: it feels really good!

		Listen to Vassily Primikaov's semifinal round recital, recorded on May 31, 2001 at the 11th Van Cliburn International Piano Competition. (Courtesy Webcasting.com) Real Player required.

My host family seems very nice. Their names are Don and Debbie Reynolds. They were at the airport with their children: Trey (also called Don, 13 years old) and Catherine Ann (who is 6). They took me to their beautiful house with a pool, my own room with a TV, phone and a beautiful Steinway. What else do I need? I am thinking about my mom—really miss her.

May 21:

In the morning I had my personal orientation… Later, I practiced (my program for the semifinal round, because it is less prepared than the preliminary), then at 4 p.m. went to choose my piano out of three Steinways (two New Yorks, one Hamburg). They gave me an hour; however, after 25 minutes I stood up and said that I want the second out of the three. Later I found out that it’s the piano that Van Cliburn himself plays on—nice piece of information!

Evening: Getting ready to go to bed. At the competitions, the day I choose the piano is always a strange day. After the actual choosing, the rest of the day is thinking whether I made the right choice, remembering the “voice” of each piano… Before I closed my eyes I realized—Yes! I made the right choice.

May 22:

Practicing both programs for the preliminaries and for the semifinals. Trying to learn the commissioned piece by Lowell Liebermann called Three Impromptus. I do like the piece, I just had to start to learn it a month before. (Laziness is a virtue!) And my Quintet (the Brahms F-minor) is in ruins. I barely touched it before. Why do I always take risks? After a while I calm myself down—I’ll do it! I’ll be fine!

May 23:

What a start to the day! Woke up at 7 a.m. to get ready for a press conference and a photo shoot. I hate wearing a suit and a tie at 8 o’clock in the morning, especially when I am in Texas and it’s almost 100 degrees Fahrenheit outside.

Debbie, Don, and I arrived at the hall exactly at 9 a.m. For the first time I can see all the contestants—all 30! Some familiar faces, some I’ve heard about and some—not a clue who they are. The funny thing is that if you look closely, you see that everyùone of them is filled with discontent. Think about it. It’s 9 a.m., in a crowded hall full of reporters eager to talk to all of us, cameras, photographers… Anyway, I gave my interviews, said the usual “I’m very excited to be here, thrilled, happy… etc.” When was asked if I’m nervous, answered “No!” In fact, it’s true. I feel very enthusiastic and can’t wait to go on stage to perform. I will be able to play for more people, people that will hear me for the first time and be judged by them. Not by the jury. It’s always a divine moment for me in my profession—if you win your audience, nothing else matters.

7 p.m.: “The Draw party.” (Dress: jacket, no tie). On the way to the party my hosts asked me if I anticipate anything—the result of the competition, and if I feel that I can make it. I answered, “No. I really don’t.” For now, I just want to play well, to do my best and, as they say, “get it over and done with.”

Primakov performs in the preliminary round of the competition. His program consisted of music by Schubert, Beethoven, and Chopin.

8 p.m.: Drawing numbers. God! I’ve never been so nervous in my entire life—why? Finally, they called my name and I drew (with shaking hands)…number 23. Not bad! It’s a satisfying number. Also, we took pictures with Van, but it was so quick, I could barely look at him—in other words, not enough time (three minutes for each contestant) to really look at the man that started it all!

May 24:

Practicing all day. My commissioned piece is getting much better. And the quintet is improving. At 5 p.m. something wonderful happened—each contestant got a cellular phone from Nokia… for free! We can use it until the end of the competition: it’s unlimited; we can call anywhere. How extraordinary! I must say, that I started to miss mine back in New York, and now I can call all my friends, and more importantly—my mom who is in Russia…

May 25:

This is the first day of the preliminary round. I’m here almost a week. Feels as if it were a century, maybe because waiting always seems endless. So far, I am happy that I have met wonderful people—my hosts; have a free phone, and drew a good number. Not bad for the first six days, but not too exciting. I’m most certain that people who are going to read my “elaborate” work are going to presume that I’m some boring type of person. I haven’t gone sightseeing (well, there is not much to see around here). I haven’t gone to any places, I haven’t even taken any pictures… and ignoring the performances of other contestants. The only thing that makes me proud is that I practice like mad, improving my program. To me it’s perfect—I sit at a piano and do what I love to do. Sounds banal, but it’s true.

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