 |
Vol. XIX No. 6 March 2004 |
 |
Shrink Rap With this issue, The Journal introduces a new column from the Juilliard Counseling Service that will appear periodically. It answers students' questions and provides information about counseling, mental health, and related student issues.
Dear Counseling Service: I've never written to an advice column before, and I can't quite believe that I'm doing so now. But here goes, even if it makes me feel a little lame to do so. Where I come from and the way I've been raised, you're expected to take care of your own problems. It's not considered cool to talk about personal stuff with a stranger. And even more than that, it is seen as a weakness. But here in New York, I've heard others talking about going to talk to someone in the Counseling Service as no big deal. More to the point, my girlfriend, who is seeing someone in counseling, keeps pushing me to give it a try. She thinks of it as a safe place where you can sort things out. And I guess she thinks I have some things to sort out. I love my girlfriend very much, and I would like to please her by setting up an appointment, but how do I square that with the way I've been raised?
—Confused and Conflicted
Dear Confused and Conflicted: It might surprise you to learn that many of the Juilliard students who come to the Counseling Service for the first time feel very much as you do. Like you, they're not from New York, and several are international students. They often express shame at seeming weak for coming to counseling, or they have always heard that it must mean they are "crazy" if they go talk to a counselor. So you're not alone in feeling this way. It might help you to know that college students everywhere go to counseling for lots of reasons. Sometimes it is just to talk through tough decisions they are facing, to sort out feelings of a relationship, to understand why they are not feeling right, and sometimes it is to get help dealing with a situation or emotion that feels too big or confusing to handle alone. Often when Juilliard students find out that our services are free and confidential, they seek help with issues that they might have been struggling with for a long time but have not known to whom they could safely turn. What students say is that counseling helps them learn about themselves, and gives them tools to take care of themselves. They also say that thinking about counseling was so scary at first, but that once they started, they quickly realized it was a safe, supportive, and non-judgmental place to come to. Ultimately, they understand that coming to counseling often takes immense strength, and that in taking care of themselves, they have done something that is exactly the opposite of being weak. We wish we could put you in touch with some of these initially reluctant students to hear what their experiences have been like since they decided to give it a try. But you must know that we are not allowed to reveal anything about any student whom we counsel, even just the fact that a student has come to see us. Knowing that we so carefully preserve confidentiality sometimes enables someone who is hesitant to come in and give it a try. Your girlfriend's own good experience with counseling is a good reason to try counseling. If you still feel unsure about coming to counseling for the first time, you might consider coming during one of our walk-in hours. You don't need to make an appointment or call ahead. It is a perfect way to test it out. After meeting with a counselor a few times, one initially reluctant student said, "I can't believe I didn't take advantage of this sooner. Coming here feels like coming to an oasis." The Juilliard Counseling Service is located on the 22nd floor of the Rose Building. It operates Monday to Saturday, and there are evening hours on Monday, Tuesday, and Friday. Walk-in hours are Monday, 6-7 p.m.; Tuesday, 6:45-7:45 p.m.; and Friday, 1:45-2:45 p.m. If you would like to make an appointment or speak with a counselor, call (212) 769-3918.
| |||
|
||||