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Shrink Rap By THE COUNSELING SERVICE
Dear Counseling Service:I've really been feeling stressed out lately, even more so than usual, if you can believe it. Papers are due, exams are looming and no matter how much I practice, I keep worrying about how I'll do on my juries. Is there something wrong with me? Does everyone go through this? Is it because I'm at Juilliard that I'm going through this, or maybe it's because I'm such a perfectionist and almost never happy with anything I do. Is there any way not to feel so bad?—Sick and Tired of Being Stressed Out
Dear Sick and Tired:I wish I could tell you that it's possible to be stress-free; that would be great. Unfortunately, no one, even outside of Juilliard, can escape stress. Perhaps one of the most difficult aspects of attending Juilliard is the paradox of being in a cutting-edge performing arts conservatory that is highly competitive and demanding, and your understandable expectations that this will be a time in your life of happiness and fulfillment in your chosen discipline and in your professional and personal relationships. This is a formula for stress—and then you add to it the fact that you are in an overstimulating big city, and that, no matter what year you are in, your concerns about your career are ever-present. Feeling stressed? You are not alone!
The major difference between someone who feels overwhelmed by stress and someone who does not is the ability to recognize when it occurs and to develop skills to manage it. Feeling stressed is not a sign of weakness. On the contrary, dealing with stress appropriately is a sign of maturity and health.
Before you can manage stress, you need to be able to recognize how it affects your body and mood. There are several signs of stress overload—some are physical, others are behavioral. Physical symptoms can include headaches, fatigue, gastrointestinal problems, an inability to focus or lack of concentration, sleep disturbances, sexual problems, anxiety, heart palpitations, high blood pressure, shortness of breath, sweating palms, or shaking hands. Behavioral symptoms might manifest themselves in irritability, increased smoking or alcohol consumption, compulsive shopping, eating a lot more or a lot less than usual, or in being short-tempered or harsh with people you normally get along with. Several of these symptoms occurring together point to stress overload.
If you are experiencing serious stress overload, it is time to consider ways of reducing that load. Here are some basic tools that you may take for granted, but which are critical in reducing and handling stress:
Sleep: You are the best judge of how many hours of sleep you need to feel rested. Habitually trying to get by with less than that amount will make it that much harder to handle stress.
Exercise: Exercise releases endorphins, natural chemicals produced by the body that promote calm and contentment.
Food Dos and Don'ts: Avoid excess sugar, caffeine (coffee, tea, cola), nicotine, alcohol, and drugs. All of these cause your system to "crash," even if they are stimulating or relaxing in the short run. Eat three or more small to medium size meals regularly, including fruits and vegetables, to maintain a balanced energy and coping level.
Relaxation: Learn relaxation exercise or meditation (e.g. slow, deep breathing; imagining pleasant scenes; tensing and relaxing muscles; listening to relaxing music; reading for pleasure). These activities decrease tension and help you to process stress reactions.
You may need to re-examine your assumptions about how much you expect yourself to handle. If you have a mentor here at Juilliard, or a trusted adult, you might find it helpful to talk over your expectations. You should consider dropping by during one of the three walk-in times at the Counseling Service to touch base with a therapist who can help you sort out things that are stressing you.
By using time-management strategies to prioritize and set limits, you are more likely to accomplish your goals and feel less overwhelmed. It may help to make daily lists of tasks you need to accomplish, and then prioritize them so that you are not overwhelmed by the feeling of having to get everything done at once. Checking them off as you get things done will give you a sense of accomplishment and will relieve stress. Try to give yourself a set quiet time each day when you don't take phone calls or see others. It is especially important to take care of yourself by making time for fun and pleasurable activities (we know this can be a challenge for students at Juilliard who feel guilty if they are not practicing or rehearsing!). Finally, don't make excuses for not making timely decisions. This form of procrastination can lead to a stress pile-up!
And remember that the Counseling Service is always available to help with stress. Call (212) 769-3918 to set up a free, confidential, stress-free appointment. Walk-in hours are Monday 6-7 p.m., Tuesday 6:45-7:45 p.m., and Friday 1:45-2:45 p.m.
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