So What Good Is Counseling, Anyway?

Dear Shrink Rap:

, but I really don't know what counseling is. Are people who go to counseling seen as "mentally ill"? Who are the therapists? I feel as though I understand why I am down in the dumps, and I just don't see how talking to a therapist would help; after all, the things that make me down are not going to go away. But I decided to write because I have to admit I've heard a couple of friends say that counseling helped them. I know these guys aren't "crazy," and I was surprised to find out that they had been to the Counseling Service. I was also surprised that they talked about it, because I would not want anyone to know that I am even thinking about trying this out. So, I sure hope I'll see my question in your column so that I can stay anonymous and you can help me figure this out.

—Anonymous

Dear Anonymous:

These are great questions! The concept of counseling can have all sorts of different meanings for every individual depending on cultural background, family values, previous experience with counseling, and (we hate to admit) how influenced one is by the portrayal of counseling on television and in movies. If you asked 10 different students who were in counseling to define it, you would get 10 different responses. This may sound like an evasive answer, but it goes to the core of how counseling serves to help individuals who have different needs. However, the one common thread is that each student has the opportunity to share his or her feelings, concerns, worries, fears, confessions, and problems with a professional who is non-judgmental and whose purpose is to help. We recognize that everyone has challenges that sometimes become too difficult to handle. This is not "mental illness." It is the intersection of complex human emotions and external factors that are often not in our control, and counseling is designed to help people cope during these times.

Counseling helps people get "unstuck" and look at things differently.

We see a lot of students who are at first reluctant because they realize that counseling cannot make the reason they are feeling down or fearful disappear, and they ask, "what good is talking about it going to do?" And then they discover that talking with someone who can help them see things differently, support them through a hard time, and who can validate their feelings really makes a difference. How does it work? Some people equate counseling with being given a toolbox full of different tools that they can use for the rest of their lives. Others say that they arrive with an insurmountable mountain in front of them and that counseling gets them "unstuck" so that they see things differently. The mountain becomes just a part of the scenery, not a huge force that occupies the whole picture anymore. There is something about putting one's feelings into words within the context of a safe and confidential relationship that has a positive transforming effect. Talking to a counselor may not change the reality you are dealing with, but it can alter the way you feel about it.

The Counseling Service therapists have a collective experience of more than 50 years working with Juilliard students. They have a deep understanding of what it means to be a young performing artist in a competitive conservatory, and they have also helped students with issues around relationships, family, substance abuse, sexual identity, illness, the death of a loved one, and other difficult matters that happen in life. Whether or not a student goes to and continues in counseling is the choice of the student.

We are glad that you raised the issue of confidentiality. It is very important that you are completely comfortable with this issue so that you can feel safe in revealing personal feelings and circumstances to your counselor. We have very strict rules, and there are laws that require us to keep all information about counseling sessions confidential. This means that we do not disclose to anyone outside of the Counseling Service that a student has been seeing a counselor or what information is shared with us in a session. The main exception to this rule is when a therapist believes that there is a likelihood that a student is at risk of causing harm to him/herself or others. The first time you come in to see a counselor, you can ask more about confidentiality and we will give you a written explanation of our confidentiality policy. We hope that you will give counseling a try soon. Don't forget that we have walk-in hours when you can come in and speak with a counselor for 20 minutes without an appointment. It is a great way to see what it is like.

Shrink Rap is the monthly advice column of the Juilliard Counseling Service. We welcome students' questions that we can print and answer here. Please submit any anonymous questions for consideration by depositing them in the Health Services mailbox, located in the Student Affairs Office. Address any correspondence to Shrink Rap.